Emotions & the Language of Understanding


intention

While we recognize the limitations of any singular blog post’s ability to answer big questions like the ones we’re asking, our intention is not to tell you everything there is to know about this issue, but rather to open up a space for conversation, reflection, curiosity, and a consideration of all the other questions this one question sets in motion.

question

How do you work through your emotional reactions to media?


reflection

by: Lindsay Newman

Taped to my window is a brightly colored, eight-part chart entitled “Emotion Cards” that was provided to me by the outstanding organization Building Bridges. It includes the typical emotions one might think of when they are asked the seemingly simple question, “How are you feeling?”. The headlines are happy/sad/angry/bad etc., but then it drops down to more specific reactions. Under “anxious” are the terms scared, insecure, defensive, and fearful; below those come even more specific language: helpless, inadequate, excluded, exposed. 

I find myself glancing at this chart regularly, my fingers tracing the page, trying to find language for the sensations that arise in my body as I experience a daily barrage of emotional turmoil. I pause the radio following a major headline to review each word choice provided under the broad term angry. I turn off my video during a Zoom call to examine the language surrounding distracted, consciously making an effort to let the emotion wash over my body without judgment, knowing that, for me, this is still a difficult challenge.

This particular moment in history has dredged up so much emotion in our country: Overwhelming loss, ineffective guilt, emboldened vulnerability, and so many more. Taking the time individually to better understand our emotions, how they show up, and to name them in whatever way makes sense is a powerful and necessary means of personal and communal growth. Being able to effectively recognize emotions that bubble to the surface while engaging with media is also an elemental aspect of practicing media literacy.

Often in the United States, we are encouraged to ‘control’ our emotions, to ‘bury’ them, or ‘pull ourselves together’ so we are not ‘overcome’. Yet each of these repressive colloquialisms are indicative of the reality that our emotions live in our bodies, they affect all five of our senses, and they show up in a full spectrum of unique ways. Being curious as to where and why you feel excited or motivated, or taking the time to ask yourself what pride tastes like, or what color signals shame, allows you the space to locate and identify your emotions, and to understand how they are implicitly and explicitly impacting the ‘you’ that shows up in each moment of your life.

We are in the midst of a myriad of holidays, which often entails time spent in the company of, and in conversation with, family, friends and loved ones. How we feel about certain things may not be shared by those who share our DNA. This time of year can be challenging to separate out our emotions and even more challenging to understand how to share our feelings in a way that is accepted or acknowledged. To add to this challenge, many people will be interacting through screens, which can muddle interpretation and context. Those emotions that are so palpable face to face can quickly feel dismissive or hostile.

During the election, I felt like I was trying to untie a massive frozen knot, in the dead of winter, without gloves. I didn’t have the right words to describe all the emotions that were layered in my body. I chose to create a mental image to help me find some tangibility to my feelings. Another friend described her state of being as trying to put soaked and disintegrating puzzle pieces together on a slanted table. Her description helped me better understand her emotional state and made it easier not to judge or try too hard to relate her experience to my own, when that was unnecessary.

This holiday season, we encourage you to uncover your feelings through whatever means makes the most sense to you. Share them with people you trust and in a way that doesn’t project your emotions onto others. The concept of sharing emotions and feelings is not universal, although I wish it was. There is so much we have yet to learn from our emotions, and so much beauty in the difficult process of coming to understand how we feel, why we feel the way we do, how to relate our feelings to those of others through language, and how to accept and reconcile our inability to do so. This is ongoing work. Emotions can change instantly, or they can settle in the crevasses of our engrained selves for extended amounts of time. Please make an effort to stay curious, stay open, and this holiday season, consider being reflective as opposed to reactive. 

P.S. Writing this scares me. I feel it in my throat, and I have to remind myself to relax my shoulders, because they are encroaching on my ear space.


actions to take

Begin a meditation or mindfulness routine.

Choose from a wide range of apps (Headspace or Waking Up would be our recommendations) that can help you build this skill into your day. Just as you need to exercise your body to maintain your physical health, so too do you need to exercise your mind to maintain your mental and cognitive health. 

Watch your emotions bubble to surface. Accept them. Watch them pass, knowing that everything is impermanent; no feeling will last forever.


questions to consider

What emotions does consuming media evoke within you?

What emotions does using technology evoke within you?

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions? Do you feel you are able to effectively cope with difficult or unpleasant feelings?

Do you make space for the emotions of others in your life? Loved ones? Colleagues? 

Could you be more empathetic to the people you encounter everyday?


resources
EXPLORE

Mindful Media

Building Bridges

Headspace

Waking Up

READ

Before Your Scroll, Try this Mindful Social Media Practice

How Mindfulness Can Free Us from Our Social Media Tribe

WATCH
LISTEN

Listen to the Mindfulness for Beginners

Listen to The Joy Factor

2 thoughts on “Emotions & the Language of Understanding

  1. Lauren Palumbo

    Wow! Beautifully written, and invokes an aspirational response in me, as a I come to terms with how reactive I am in my response to media. In the putrid toxic social media world that enveloped this year, I found myself launching into numerous rage responses, fueled by (what I believed to be) righteousness. My day then ruined, my good mood irretrievable, time then lost. “What a waste of a day” I’d eventually think, as I stepped off my high horse. Then the guilt. O-M-G, the guilt. For so many things, but for one, for not making anything any better. In a world full of darkness, I want to be a person that brings the light. But my ego, or some misguided sense of duty, spurs me to instead pour gasoline on already blazing fires – I didn’t make anyone’s day better, and certainly not my own, as I inevitably remain unable to ‘shake it, anything off.” I’m a work in progress…always. I’m not yet able to ignore, or process, or step away and meditate on what I read coming out of the minds of people I once loved, who I can’t even bear to look at now that they’ve revealed their true nature. I have however, managed to temper down my rage, in an (often futile) attempt at civility, that (I hope) could better serve an ongoing discussion that could feasibly open minds. And perhaps even enable me to learn something instead of preach. I’m striving to get to a place where I can take space or contribute positively or not at all. I’m not there yet. I’m instead overcome by my emotional responses. But, as I mentioned, it’s a work in progress, always. Thanks for sharing Canaries!! And for providing this forum for those of us who tend to, uh..overshare 😉

    Reply

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